| Gone for a while |
[May. 26th, 2005|04:39 pm] |
Hey, even though I know I've been updating this a multitude of times, I'm gonna be gone for about a month, and I set up this new thingy...a myspace...to tell of my adventures in Germany...so check in on it once in a while, see whats going on. http://blog.myspace.com/16780345. Enjoy, hopefully, and if not....screw you. Peace out everyone, have a great summer.
-Dane |
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| Long time no see |
[Apr. 29th, 2005|10:00 pm] |
I know I haven't written in forever...and I don't plan on writing again for a while...but for those of you who do actually check up on me...score for you...write me a note and I'll give you a cookie. Here's a list of whats on my mind for those who care.
My parents are being completey anal about my grades, and asking me to plan my study time and what I do in each hour ect ect...but thankfully its not really being enforced. Only a few more weeks till school's over...
My teachers are retarded and...yea. Khan was being a complete jerk and blaming me for things he well knows weren't me, as I moved purposefully across the room not to be blamed...for nothing apparently...and Jan is just...Jan, who is related to Satan and Mr. Dinkins I do beleive (who many would argue are the same person).
Bought 7 items off Amazon.com used/"crappy" list for a total of 44 bucks...lets see if I can remember them all...2 phantom planet cd's, american hi-fi cd, boston cd, jem cd, dane cook cd/dvd combo, the darkness cd. I heard about/liked each band, and since pre shipping and handling each was under 5 bucks i was liked...eh, why not? Can't hurt to have more cd's anyways...
Katie is upset with me "oggling" (spelling?) her, which...I dunno, I don't recognize anything different from before...I look at/fake check out all the girls I hang out with...if it bothers you enough to avoid and ignore me, alright then...sorry for being me.
haha yes, i'm in boyscouts. laughed it out now? good...jerk. My eagle scout needs to be done soon, otherwise I can't do it, and the guy who I have to get approval is being a complete dick about it...and asking that I literally plan out every hour of the construction of 8 percussion cabinets and 4 tuba racks...and list the precise tools and materials needed, as well as number of people required, and safety procedures taken for previously stated tools....it is so lame, and I don't see why it matters...becase I'm not gonna follow it...but screw it, I need this done, so I'll make his little list so he can feel special, and then just not look at it again. *shrug*
being lonely still sucks greatly...but one gets used to it after a while...
Germany is comming nearer and nearer...and I'm getting mixed feelings...I still want to go, thats for sure...but I'm realizing how hard it will be to leave everyone and go to a completely different culture...*shrug*. Oh well, it'll be fun.
Speaking of Germany...those of you who are reading this, I know of at least 1, probably more who are still on talking terms with Jenni...and just wondering...how many of you knew she got a scholarship to spend a month in a language school in Germany? Frau Parris found it neccesary to tell me for some reason...and it was the first I've ever heard of it...but those of you who can should congradulate her...its really hard to do what she's doing. She'll being leaving everyone she knows and spending a month in a place where the only connetion she has to her roomate is that they are both taking German...and her roomate will be from another country, so she probably won't even speak english. it's tough...tell her good luck...
Schools almost over...Dank Himmel....Schule koennt mein Schwanz saugen...es ist so spass wie sheiss...forgot how to say as fun as...so I kinda imprompto made something similiar up...
Heh, screw it...I'm tired, no more writing...
*Servus*
-Dane- |
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| Gone |
[Mar. 25th, 2005|12:40 pm] |
Okay, really fast update of the last 18 hours of exchange studenting.
6-9 dinner at some mexican food resturant, where i learned how to say a bunch of funny and mean german sayings...and someone taught laurne how to say sex in bavarian...bad move...lol
9-2ish party at cameron's house. Fun. Hottubbing, chicken fights in the like, 70 degree water...oh yea, I'm undefeated, of course...no one can beat me at chicken fights...sorry. Talked to natalie for about an hour while sitting alone on die bank...fun, but didn't clear anythign up about stuff...hehe, but she gets cooler every second, and I can easily live with just being friends.
2-8 (a.m.) whatever...some people went to Jim's...I went to sleep...lol, but I woke up at like, 7, so you know...Goldi packed until 3 or 4, some people talked for a long time, ect ect ect.
9-11 waiting in the airport for them to leave...that was kinda depressing in some ways...like daniel and stephanie...*sigh*...that really sucks...find someone you can really care about, and then they leave for a different country. the way the world works sometimes...oh yea, I got some water and made it look like I was crying to fit in with all the girls...I couldn't really cry, cus I mean really...I'm going to see them in 2 months again, its not THAT big of a deal. when I leave from there...then I'll probably cry.
So yep...they're gone. Feels kinda empty...and like everything is going to go so incredibly slow these last 8 weeks of school...*sigh*...so many people I'm going to miss...so many people that I'm just now meeting who are juniors, that when I get back from germany are going to be gone...Pretty much sucks...lol, but what can I do, get sad and mope? Nawh...ruins the fun...I'll just enjoy it all I can now, otherwise whats the point?
Gotta go, Goldi introduced me to Dickie's, and they got a sale on Hawain (spelling?) shirts.
Servus
-Dane |
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| *raises eyebrow* |
[Mar. 20th, 2005|07:18 pm] |
Hey, anyone else here get really really depressed when you have to come back to school after a long break? Cus I do...and it really sucks...I remember all the things I really wish I had forgotten, and some other things come up, and whatever else....*sigh*...yea, it kinda really sucks....
Plus side, I just about beat Chrono Trigger today....I played for...probably about 6 hours, which, with the emulator was about...25 hours? So yea, I've just about beated it. Good fun...one of my favoritist gameses...I'd love to write more, but I'm too tired and really not wanting to sit here and play computer right now.
check you later guys/girls/aaron
-Dane |
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| Spring break...over!?! |
[Mar. 19th, 2005|11:24 pm] |
Heh...yea, that was fast, but oh so very fun. Every day was another trip to some other city for somethign another...until wednesday, in which we went to the capitol and bob bullock. woohoo! Then thursday was the Rodeo, and friday was cameron's party thingy that I stayed at his house for almost 12 hours...and Natalie Dean is...ah man...it really really sucks that she's taken, cus I can almost swear she likes me too. Anywho....today (saturday) me and chris and me familia went to Keyes Ranch and shot shotguns, pistols, and rifles....and jeeze goldi is good at the shotgun...lol, he's never shot and he got what was it...10 in a row? it was impressive. Oh yea, and somewhere in there I had to fill out my "Finalist" application for Congressundbundestag....that was interesting too...I'm getting really tired of those thingies, they ask the same thing over and over and expect different answers...lol, oh well...yea, for those of you who are jelous of me (which...isn't many of you), you can apply to the same thing...ask me and I can get you the web browser...if theyu accept you you'll go to Germany for your senior year...for free. Think about it...it's going to be amazing.
so enough of that...and I'm really tired, so whatever...haha, I had to take this quiz and surprise surprise...
You Are A Romantic |
You are more romantic than 100% of the population.
You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.
Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.
Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.
Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do! |
go figure, eh? see everyone later
-Dane |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 15th, 2005|07:33 am] |
Hey guys...I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I ignore you or something during the few weeks while the exchange students are here. I really don't mean to, but sometimes its just...I dunno. Please don't take it personally.
Other than that, its going good so far. This spring break will be...full. I don't have one day where we're not going to another town or the capitol or something like that. Or the Rodeo, sorry...lol, yea, its busy. Fun though..extremely...there are a couple german girls who are...preeeeetty cute, lol. Sandra, Becky, and Natalie are the ones I can think of off the top of my head...lol, yea...one of the funny comments I thought someone said earlier was that they had some really hot upperclassmen...but they are all the same age as us. Well, me. Maybe 2 or 3 are 17...oh well, sorry, its about 7 in the morning and we're going to San An in about an hour...so..yea, I'm tired. Screw this, I can't concentrate anymore anyways...leave a message if you want, I'll try to leave another later.
-Dane |
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| German in the air |
[Mar. 9th, 2005|09:42 pm] |
Haha, I feel weird writing this because I know only like, 2 people will read it...but yep yep, Christian is here from Germany, and he's awesome. Me and him are like...a perfect match. Its great, we're both crazy, both play guitar and bass, and both really funny...or think we are. Its good times...and everyone is trying to talk in german and stuff, its funny. I really look forward to going and living with him for a month, and look forward even more to going to germany next year...it will be great! Heh...we have this awesome plan for the last party we're all together in America...It will be fun. If it works. Hehe.
So yea, I have a new email that I'll play around with, its german! Gaudi-Dane@gmx.de...email me if you want! Its good times...hehe, I figured if I'm going to spend time there, I might as well have the email to prove it...and in case you don't know, like I didn't, Gaudi means funny/fun in Bavarian. lol, he picked it, not me, but i like it. Gaudi. Sounds nice...hehe, but yea, life is going pretty good for once in a long time...though some things still pull at the ol' heart strings...Oh well. Gotta go, me and christian are working on this song we're kinda...writing. hehe, enjoy your week everyone.
-Dane |
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| *<(~)>* |
[Feb. 22nd, 2005|10:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
Just about everybody I love is growing apart from me. Too many of the peopel I love cut. Too many of them smoke too much, or for the wrong reasons. I'm finally realizing just how much I screwed up some certain peopls lives. I'm out of shape. My grades suck. I can't focus on things. Theres almost nothing that really catches my undivided attention any more. My parents are sending me to Sylvan cus I just suck that much at organizing myself. I'm leaving in 4 months for a full year. People keep thinking that the one place I love no matter what, with people who understand me probably just as much as any of my closest friends, SWUUSI, is a sex camp. Sorry to dissapoint you, its not. Everyone I know is changing. Just about everyone I know is immature. Those of you who don't understand...probably fall in that category. Sorry. I can't fix my school habbits. I feel alone.
thats what's up with me.
or what I'm thinking about.
please stop asking. |
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| Distant...cy? |
[Feb. 20th, 2005|06:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rent | ] |
So yea...This weekend was one of the most stressful ones I've had in a long while...in the morning choir solo and ensemble...ensemble was easy, jazz choir was great of course, we got 1's...it felt pretty awesome, cus the bass section (of 3 people including me) had a solo and we did pretty damn well on it...then my solo was nerve wrecking...but only sorta, I didn't really care, I knew it more or less, and I think i did preeeeeetty well on it.
The bad part of the day was right after that when we went to fredrichsburg (spelling is wrong...sue me), and I had my interview for CongressundBundestag. Yea, if you thought you were ever nervous before...try sitting in front of 6 people askling you questions and writing endless notes about you, all to decide if you get a roughly 7000 dollar scholarship. People who've left for college know what i mean...but not many of the people who read this will...its hectic. And then there was a group interview where i was supposed to make this project with 5 other people about the difference between germany teenagers and american.../lifestyles or whatever...and I knew they were testing to see how we acted with and around people, and that was bad too, because your afraid to take charge cus they'll think your all commanding type, but you can't stay quiet because then they think your shy. Blegh. Lol, the only good news was theres only 110 people who are being chosen between for the 52 scholarships....so...yea, I'm having high hopes...but I don't want to get them too high, cus you know...yea, that'd suck. Funny thing is, if I get it, I have to go to a 3 day orientation in New Mexico, and come back the day we leave for Germany for 3 weeks with Frau Parris. Lol...wheee!!! maybe it was the day before...something like that...I find out if i have it by early march. Hope for me!
So yea, I am almost positive I'm going...the only thing is I can already feel myself growing distant to some people...and it really sucks...I'm going to miss the people more than anything...and whats worse is internet costs so much over there...and even if it was cheap, I wouldn't want to spend a lot of time on it...because I'm in Germany for Germany...not for people here...its hard to explain, but I'm sure some of you get it...I'm just really going to be lonely some nights, I know.
Knowing I'm going to leave in a couple months also makes it hard to find a gf...especially when you really want someone who'll be there for you...and really love you. Preeeeeeetty much pointless to even look, cus it'd just hurt like a bitch when I left. So thats one of my "problems" of these days that I can't/won't fix, so no worries there, right? Next weekend is band solo...I can play it well enough...but should I try to memorize it? Shouldn't be too difficult...just time consuming. Anyways, gotta go...Feeling kinda...something.
Peace out
-Dane- |
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| Official Apology |
[Feb. 8th, 2005|05:27 pm] |
Dear Sir/Madam,
As President of -Dane- Inc., I would like to humbly apologize for any and all actions that may have been received as ill thoughts. Any people previously stated as being thought of as things, or vice versa, were more than slight exxagerations, and are not the feelings of company or employees. To be honest, John, the man who answers the surveys is to blame, and has already been fired and replaced by his twin, Xohn. We are sorry for the inconvience and thank you for your cooperation.
-Dane- |
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| Peer pressure |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|10:14 pm] |
Haha...everyone else is doing it!!
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Dane
2. Tiny
3. Whatever else
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. MascotaXander
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My ability to do good at just about anything skillwise
2. My friends...which counts, right?
3. My strengths, both physical and mental
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I get too emotional
2. I care too much sometimes...those of you who think its impossible, you'd be wrong.
3. I can't control what I think
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. 1/2 Scottish
2. >1/2 Irish
3. 1/9478369873487 French
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Being alone
2. Going deaf
3. needles
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Friends
2. Music
3. my mind...and if you've ever been sick and unable to focus on something for more than 3 minutes...you know what I mean.
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. My new chalice necklace...Woohoo!
2. "rock the arts" bracelet I got with Brittany
3. No shoes
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists at the moment):
1. Stephen Lynch
2. Whoever else floats my fancy at the time
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT (not in any particular order):
1. Don't ask. I can't do that.
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Get to Germany with a full scholarship
2. Change my grades and study habbit...and working on that as we speak. Type. Whatever.
3. Get back into good shape.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Trust
2. Somone who'll be there for me
3. someone who'll be themselves, not who everyone else wants them to be...or who everyone else thinks they are...
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: (SEE IF U CAN FIND THE LIE!)
1. My brother got a several thousand dollar guitar for his graduationg present from college.
2. I was born without teeth.
3. My middle brother is studying a major in Japanese culture so he can write Anime.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Looks (more than a little...but not a lot)
2. Personality (bingo)
3. How much candy they can give me.
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Have any kind of relationship if I don't think its gonna go anywhere.
2. Have a life without music.
3. Forget people I love.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Music (reading, writing, listening to)
2. reading
3. whatever else crosses my path
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Katie. Haha...Just kidding. Kinda.
2. Have super powers.
3. Have someone to love...wait...thats what I want, not what I want to do...oh well.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Anything with music...don't know yet.
2. Sky diving contortionist.
3. Amphibian Dentistry (a fast growing feild)
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Every
2. Where
3. Else
THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. Shaniqua
2. Lucifer
3. Bob Dole
p.s. I would like to note...I have not chosen my kids (who are not born, nor won't be for at least another 5-10 years) names...sorry?
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Make a difference
2. Find someone to live for (and hopefully with [implied love here]).
3. get shot from a cannon...haha...sorry, that always just looked a little cool...it might not be on the top of my list of things to do, but its up there.
Haha...enjoy. |
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| Ho hum |
[Feb. 5th, 2005|08:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Incubus...mwahah! | ] |
Lol, in being absent minded, I've become what I dislike...those people who update their journal every day. No offense to you, but I just don't want to be one...If I do something too much I get addicted...why I plan on not buying any good computer games or anyhting any time soon...oh yea, I forgot why I even wanted to post....oh yea!
as most of you know, I'm planning on spending my next year in Germany...which is getting harder and harder to do, as lots of things have tempted me to stay...but I need to get away, and a lot of you know what I mean. I just need something new for a while...Anyways, about that, I am a semi-finalist in the CongressunBundestag. For those of you who don't know, that means that my year long trip to Germany that would normally cost about 8000 dollars...and yes, there are supposed to be that many zeros...would be free. Paid for by our government. Thats if I get this thing...so I have a few more steps to go, but I'm getting really close to going to Germany for free, and all the money we've saved up for me I can put towards a laptop or new bass or whatever it is I want to take with me...ah god, its so cool...semi finalist...*whew*...
alright, well, I can't think of anything else, though I'm sure I will soon...so talk to you later everyone...and only 2 people love me, that hurts!
Hehe, beth and katie....how I love thee...
anywho...ciao guys
-Dane- |
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| Haha |
[Feb. 3rd, 2005|11:58 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Right now...nothing...crap, I gotta make a new playlist... | ] |
Alright, so I've realized that almost all of my journal entries have been depressing? Weird, cus I'm not always depressed...Makes sense though, because I usually use this to vent, and you never want/need to vent when your happy...Anyways, life is pretty good, I'm currently sick and staying home from school...which sucks that I'm sick, and that i'm missing school...but oh well? I need to get back into shape, and probably will start soon...either going to the Y or something...but it's getting me kinda sad.
Don't have a girlfriend, and don't know who I'm interested in...I kinda like some people, but friendships and such keep anything from happening...eh, I'll find someone eventually.
There isn't too much going on in my life helping people wise...Jessi is talking to me more, which is good, and we've resolved to just being friends, which is also good.
I'm kinda tired, and I'm supposed to go do some homework, so I'll talk to everyone later...leave me messages if you love me! haha...I don't even know if that EVER works.
-Dane- |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2005|10:44 pm] |
Alright, today was awesome, first time ever singing "barbershop" music...and sorry I haven't written in a while, but I haven't had time/a reason...and now I do.
I know saying it won't do anything...but I just wanted everyone to know that I hate America and the world for what it makes people beleive. The fiction that beauty is the most important thing in a person and the means of escape. Any country where it isn't uncommon for someone to have cut themselves for an escape from depression is...not my idea of a good country. Something needs to be done...and I don't know if anythign can be. This is wrong...and I'm almost positive all of the people who read this will agree. I don't really know if this is clear or anything...for the past week I've been dizzy kinda and not really able to focus...so sorry if it doesn't...but yea...we need to do something. Please someone tell my I'm not crazy here...
Gotta go, I can't really think any more
<0-Dane-0> |
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| School |
[Jan. 9th, 2005|11:32 am] |
Back from vacation, yes it was great...a bunch of crap is happening and I don't feel like talking about it all...needless to say, some of the highlights are as follows-
Dinkins lost my 80$ mouthpeice and music, and is mad at me for some reason?
School is back and it already sucks, because my parents think i need like, 4 hours to do my hw every night? Don't ask me...
It's great to be back, and a lot of my friends are happy to see me...some more than they should be, and some a lot less than I wish they would be...but whats new? I just need to get over everything.
Eh, theres probably more, but I'm out of it, and I'm finally talking to my German exchange student on ICQ....so peace out everyone, gotta go.
-Dane |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 29th, 2004|10:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | My super playlist of glory | ] |
Heh, for those of you who don't like long, random, and emotional entries, you probably shouldn't read any more.
Its okay though...I'm just venting, the last short paragraph is not so depressing! Heh...sorry guys.
So yay, christmas...in all reality, it was a great christmas...i got more than i asked for, namely because i didn't ask for anything...got a dvd player, cd player, digital camera, all this great stuff...and the next day, i got to see my best friends leave me on a band trip they're going to be talking about for the rest of their highschool life...and longer probably. wheee...don't get me wrong, i feel great that they went, and i missed it so i could go to the bahamas with my family, which to most of you would be obviously better on my part...but...its hard to explain. i'll try to put it in a way that makes it easier for you to understand...imagine your entire family planning on going somewhere, a week long trip with all these activities planned and all this great stuff your gonna do...but you can't go. true...your going somewhere awesome and probably even better...but the people you love most aren't going to be there with you, not to mention that while your doing your thing, their making memories of a lifetime without you. Your being forgotten. I'm being forgotten.
...someone in the band died. They had a heart condition that made it so they couldn't run, so he was put in the pit so he could still participate. The pit had to run for some reason...i'm not sure why...but he collapsed and was taken to the hospital...he didn't make it...he had the same heart condition as his father, who died of it as well earlier...his poor mother........that's so unfair...why did he die...why him of all the people in the world, why was did it have to be him...he was only a sophmore...why does life have to be so unfair...
I heard this...and felt horrible...but then i noticed something...i heard it from a friend of mine who wasn't in band. He saw it on the news and thought i would be worried or something, so he took the time to call me. Dylan...your awesome, thank you...what really confused me though...why was no one in the band thought i would care. no one called me...and even though i called jessi to figure out if she was okay, i only got her message and asked her to call me back...which she did...at 1 in the morning. it was only 12 there, but still...i guess thats just how important i am...and i know its selfish, but its...just bothering me...i know that a bunch of my friends would be really shook up about this, but none of them called me, whether for comfort or at least to inform me that one of my bandmates, one of my family, died. I know i shouldn't think about it, everyone was shooken up and confused...but it just gets to me, you know?
The only person thats called me has been jessi...and...she's not very nice on the phone...and she's only calling because i asked her, i bet. like, 5 people said they'd call because they missed me...but they're having too much fun, so no worries eh?
I left a message on Jenni's diary, telling her i was sorry for everything that happened, everything i'd done, i know we'd never get together again, but it sucks to not even talk...and that i just want us to be friends again at least...and i ended it with something like "if this disturbs you or anyhting like that, delete and forget it"...hope i don't cause any MORE harm...most likely she'll kill and and go on with her life...sorry for sounding so drear if i do, but these past few days have kinda really sucked, and all of my friends that i talk to are gone or unnaccessable...and sorry this is so long, but its the only one i'm going to write for a while.
I'm going to Germany. It's really happening. I don't know how I'll be able to do it...I can hardly go a week without all my friends, this is going to suck huge major ass...but I have to. I have to do something new, something...different...I'm almost positive a bunch of you know what I'm talking about...but I have to get out. I'm tired of school, tests, personal problems, all this crap...I just need to get away. I know they have school in Germany, but 1) Theres no HW and apparantly (according to Helge) 11th grade is the blowoff year, and 2) my grades don't count for anything anyways. There has to be something more to life than stupid tests and boring teachers...I just need to find myself or something...
Alright, well, enough of that...Going to the bahamas for 5 days with my whole family...gonna be awesome...the sun, the tan, the art, islands...the ocean...the sunset...god...i can't wait. I'm going to make sure to bring my new camera and take lots of pictures! I can;t think much more, and I gotta go...I have to do a weeks worth of English 11A in the next 3 days...stupid correspondance course...
peace out guys...enjoy the rest of your vacation.
-Dane |
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| Christmas |
[Dec. 25th, 2004|06:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | thoughtful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | My familly downstairs getting ready for dinner | ] |
I was going to write about how anyone who wrote in their journal on Christmas was crazy, but then again, so are most of my friends.
Christmas, a time of relaxation, fun, family, and reminiscing...Heh...So many things that I can remember, so many secrets I've learned and shared, and so many friends that I did things with...As stupid as it sounds, I think that if I was offered the choice...I might have gone to fiesta bowl instead of the Bahamas...but then again..thats because my family is the band. What else do you call them? You're there for them to cry on your shoulder, they're there for you...heh...almost all of my bestest friends are in either the band or choir, and the other ones are in even more exciting hobbies that I don't even participate in! Panting, horseback-riding...so much stuff to do and see...I'm really going to miss everyone when I'm in Germany. More than most of you will ever know.
Merry Christmas everyone.
-Dane |
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| Haha... |
[Dec. 24th, 2004|12:54 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None | ] |
Wow, I'm sorry anyone who actually uses this to see whats up with people...I haven't written or read anything in forever...And I don't really think or know of anything too new...that I really want to talk about at least.
If you want to know whats bothering me or anyhting important, just read the *ed paragraphs
*This whole Jenni thing is pissing me off, I want to talk to her and get it all over with, finally be friends again, but I'm afraid of what might happen if I do talk to her, namely her ignoring me or not wanting to be my friend but just putting up with me because its better for her...know what I mean at all? I just want it to be over, I don't care if we never go out again, I just hate having someone I loved as both a friend and more hate me, or at least not talking to me at all. Oh, and Jenni, if you ever read this, which I doubt, Merry Christmas, and my present is you can keep my blacklight. I really never use it anyways...talk to me if you want the replacement bulb? Heh...fat chance, methinks...
Cousins are comming over for Christmas, gonna be awesome...Haven't seen them in forever, besides about 2 days ago. They lived in Equador for a few years, and then just moved to Georgia, so I haven't seen them (besides 2 days ago) in a good 3 or 4 years. Woohoo!
Christmas present-wise...I got David's (my oldest brother) covered, not gonna say what it is here because of the semilikely chance of him finding it...Daniel (middle brother) I don't even know what we're getting...maybe new computer speakers? I really don't know...everything we've looked for was no longer in business because my brother is a D&D/computer nerd...lol. My mom...I really don't know as well...which isn't cool, seeing as its the day before christmas...lol...And my dad...ah man, its great...if you ever read this and want to know about it, tell me, because its too hard to explain unless I can do it to one person.
As for me, I have no idea at all what their getting me, I didn't give anyone any ideas, but they all seemed to find something easily enough...lol, we'll see how it works out I guess? It should all be good...and the only thing I really want is either a guitar to take to Germany, a mini amp to take to Germany, or a laptop...to take to Germany. Lol, its the main thing on my mind, and I don't really need anything else that I know of. My plan (currently) is to make some kind of carrying case that can hold both a guitar and a bass, and carry them on the plane. Mwahah...I'm just that cool. Then I'd either have the amp in there with me, a mini one that's only like...15 watts or somethign, more than enough for me to practice with, or I'd buy one while I was over in Germany. Laptop is for music and whatever else I might need it for...namely...because I really want it to keep in touch with people. That way I'd at least have something to remind me of everyone...If everyone here can get me a picture of themselves before I leave, then I can scan them onto the laptop and see yall while I'm away...heh, good times...
*yawn*...so late...and I'm tired...and now that its past midnight...tommorow is Christmas. Well..Christmas Eve...right? Maybe? no wait...tommorow is Christmas! Woohoo...so very close...hehe.
Ah man, I'm such a nerd...I actually went to barnes&noble just to read manga...lol, I saw Ashley there though! She and Josh were off to "make babies" as she likes to call it...well, technically going to see Blade, but we know what really happens there...hehe...
Thats it for me, too late to type any more.
Sorry this one was so long, thought I'd update everything for anyone who cared.
-Dane- |
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| Lol |
[Dec. 13th, 2004|05:43 pm] |
Haha...I feel like an idiot...People responed and I didn't see because it didn't show it for some reason...Oh well. Yea, school still sucks, and I'm still confused about a bunch of shit, and I hate how things are going, but eh...I'm getting my liscence (supposivly) on like...thursday after school I think? Or wednesday? Something like that...Gotta go, bored of looking at the comnputer screen, ttyl later everyone
<3Dane |
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| Life can be such a fucking bitch |
[Dec. 11th, 2004|11:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Haha...spelled wrong I think.. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Rent soundtrack...hell yes. | ] |
Sorry...I almost never cus online...and I usually never rant...but its just too much and I have to let it out somewhere.
Christmas. Think of a definition of what it means to you. got one? heres mine
-Time to spend with the ones you love, and show people how much you really care about them.-
Yep...I know...how sweet, right? Heh...yea, well, one of the people I care about more than anything...would probably kill me or cus me out if I even tried to get her a gift. Yea...it sucks. Its not my fault that once I love someone I can't stop...I still care about her, and I know I always will.
Kinda sad, right? Everything she ever told me was a lie, she broke my heart, she does drugs (the reason we broke up), she cuts...or at least used to a lot...and yet...I still care about her. Love her like I did when we were going out...I'm not sure of...probably...but I do know for a fact that I still love her incredibly as a friend...and it still hurts to see her hurt, and the only thing that makes it worse is knowing that ANYTHING I try to do to help will make her hurt more.
Jenni always writes about she wants someone who wants her, someone to hold her and be there for her forever...but obviously not.
I've thought about it...and there's two possibilities here...1, I did something really freakin bad in my past life to deserve this...or something really good is going to happen later. or God hates me, but I doubt that one (for now...lol). Honestly, 2 serious girlfriends in my life (no offense Priscilla), and both of them bipolar. After the break up, first time I was broken, second time my ex starts to hurt herself (not because of me entirely), and then...I dunno. I just suck I guess?
Not only all that...but then theres my grades which are starting to suck, and my parents seem to think I don't care, which I know I do...I just...I don't even know. It sucks, that's all I know...and if I fail chemistry I'm going to kill something. seriously.
Sorry this is a random message tonight...I can't really get everything straight in my mind, much less on paper...I don't really want to think about it that much.
Also, I don't know what it is...but I'm really cranky recently, without trying to be...I just get annoyed really easily, and loose my patients (spelling is wrong there) fast....and I want it to go away. I'm tired of making people mad, tired of hurting everyone someway or another.
whats even better is, I don't really feel any of this any more. Every time I read Jenni's journal saying something about how much I screwed up or something, I just...shrug. I know I'll feel it sometime...probably...but right now it just slides off. Or is put away. I don't really know...
Lol...lost my train of thought...oh yea, I can't remember anything either. Normally, I can't remember any names. I dunno if anyone noticed...but listen next time, I mess up even my best friends names. I suck ass with names. But now I'm forgetting even more stuff, and my eyes kinda unfocus sometimes, and its hard to focus sometimes...I dunno? Its weird. Maybe my contacts...I'll check into it.
woohoo highschool. I hate it more than ever now. Anyone else here think that highschool was(or is) both the best and worst thing that ever happened in your life? Things can change so fast...people can change so fast...*sigh*...
If your reading this, you probably know me, and are most likely one of my better friends...heh...I love you guys. Whether it seems like it or not...I couldn't get through my life at all if it wasn't for all of you. You help more than you'll probably ever know.
thats it for me...I can't even think any more.
-Dane- |
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jadedemperor's journal